Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize