i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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