I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
