Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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