Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
