Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i believe in u and ur pee
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
