That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
