she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
