I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
