Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
