Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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