i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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