I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize