And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
