just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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