Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
