No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
