that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
