Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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