we're blogging at a bar
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
