he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Actions speak louder than pants.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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