Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
