I can text with my tongue
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
