p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have aggressive nipples.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize