Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
