I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
