The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
