dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
