did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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