I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
