Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
