I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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