I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
