So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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