Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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