Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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