i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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