You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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