I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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