i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
