she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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