This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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