gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
