cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
