That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
