i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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