I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Don't EVER smell your tampon
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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