When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
