Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Do vagina's smell?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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