i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
