I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize