Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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