Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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