remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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