____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
