and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
