How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
